Death and Life...

DSC_0022.JPG (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There is times that we seem to go through certain activities in our day that become so routine that we often don't think about them. Then comes a day that not only changes that so common routine but also has a major impact on your life. It is a day that you think about what is most important in life, makes you think about those who are most important to you, and may have an impact on your very future. Yesterday was one of those days for me and it started first thing in the morning.

At least three, and usually four or five a days a week I head to the Portland Community College track and exercise as it is just a short walk down a trail from where I live. I arrived at the track at about 5:30 and was about to start my first walk around the track when I noticed something laying along the track about a quarter around from where I start. At first I thought it might be some garbage that was dragged there by the neighborhood foxes or coyotes that live in the area but as I got closer I realized it was a person lying on the ground.

Things to Look at when Considering being a Foster Parent...

Length of stay in U.S. foster care (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Children sleeping in Mulberry Street (1890) Art. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Think about the gambit of emotions and you have what it means to be a foster parent. It can be joyful, a handful, frustrating, depressing, exciting, and everything in between, however in the end you will be helping children that are in need and there is not better feeling in the world although it is not for the faint of heart to say the least.

Here are some things to consider before becoming a foster parent:

1. Are you ready for all the responsibility of being a foster parent? Not only is it taxing on the emotions but it it also requires a great deal of time. Not only do you attend classes in order to prepare you for being a foster parent (and no matter how much they try it is difficult to teach you all that you need to know), but when you have the children you are their taxi service which means running them to school (often their school will be far away), time to take them to meetings with their family, court dates and so on.

2. Are you emotionally ready to handle the responsibility of taking care of someone else's children that are not able to take care of them at the time and the problems that they may have? In our time as foster parents we had a 14 year old girl with a 5 month old boy and her sister who was 15 and a alcoholic, we had a boy who was possibly sexually molested, we had children whose father was told by his girlfriend that it was either her or his kids and he chose her,  and a 6 year old girl whose father would beat her so bad that his hand would bleed. The other emotional aspect you will have to deal with is when the children leave, if they have been with you for many months it can sometimes be hard to deal with when its time for them to leave, how well will you be able to handle that?

3. Once you get past the first to questions you need to decide how much room you have available for foster children. Every state is different but under the regulations we fostered under you needed to have at least 60 square feet of space per child. Sometimes under special circumstances such as you are willing to take in a large group (we took in a group of 4 at one time even though we technically had enough space for three). You also have to consider that you must purchase all the furniture for the children which can add up. In our case we bought a set of bunk beds, three dressers, a standard bed, a crib/bed combo, lamps, night stands, and clocks. Other things that you will be required to have is a locking cabinet for any medicines and potentially harmful chemicals that you may have in your house.

4. The next thing you need to consider is what ages of children are you willing to foster. As you can probably tell by some of the stories I mentioned we fostered all age ranges. Some people only want to take infants hoping that they will be available for adoption at some point. The thing to take into consideration is that the wider range of ages that you are willing to take in, the more likely you will be getting foster children. Once again it depends on what you are ready for and looking for out of foster care. No one way is right, it just must be right for you.

5. Do you have a support network? You need to have people who you can call on to laugh, cry, vent, and just be able to talk to. Our foster care system had a network in our neighborhood that we could call on and they would also have times to get together and have some fun. You also need to have a someone that you can talk to one on one to deal with personal issues that may arise. In my case the crises time occurred some time after we adopted our kids, but fortunately I had a very special friend who was willing to listen and give advice, and just be there when I needed them. Have that support network in place ahead of time.

Being a foster parent may be one of the most rewarding things you can do. The task will not be easy but knowing that you will be providing a ray of light to a child that needs is worth it. A foster child may only be with you a short time, but you can have a dramatic impact on that child's life even if you don't see the results, know that you will be making a difference.

This past June we celebrated 3 years since adopting our children and later this month we will celebrate the time they came to us. It has not been an easy journey, but I wouldn't change it for anything.

Scheduling

Custom Moleskine Planner & iPod touch (Photo credit: Mike Rohde)

In the last couple of entries I talked about the importance of goals, what they should include, and how to set them. Today, I am going to talk about something that goes hand in hand with goals and that is scheduling. When I talked about setting goals I mentioned that you needed to find the system that works for you when setting goals and that goes for creating a scheduling system also, and frankly I have to admit that finding a scheduling system that works for me has been difficult.

It is not scheduling itself that has been difficult but finding a system that would fit my needs. Despite all the modern electronics that are designed to make scheduling easier, I just have not found one that I like. I started by using a software program that created schedules but then realized that Microsoft Outlook basically did the same thing. While Outlook worked for a while, I hated having to getting on the computer to check my scheduling. I know that modern cell phones can also but I quickly realized that I liked having something I could look at more thoroughly than a phone.

After deciding that a software program wasn't working for me I started using an planner that my wife had laying around that was given to her by an old boss. I decided I like the idea of the planner and having it written down so I can see it all the time but this particular planner was very large ringed binder that took up a lot of room and weigh a lot and I already have enough to carry everyday so I decided to start using one of the spiral bound planners that come out every year.

While I have been using the planner on regular basis I couldn't get a system down that I really liked until I saw what one of my friends did in their planner. This person has their planner neatly organized plus has different colored sticky notes for important things and highlights important things in the planner. This gave me an idea that I have started to use in my planner.

The first thing I do is to put in all the important dates that I have coming up into the planner. For items such as important projects that are do I go through the book and put reminders in at weekly intervals that the project is coming up and then I highlight them with green if they are more than 3 weeks out, yellow of they are one or two weeks out and red for the day that they are due. This way I have regular reminders that I have something coming up so that I can be working on it and have it done before it is due.

This coming year I am making one change and that is going from a weekly planner to a daily planner due to the increased commitments and the importance of having things scheduled in a more detailed fashion. As I said before this is my system and you need to find a system that is going to work best for you so good luck.

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Setting Goals

Crow Peak summit. Chugach Mountains, Alaska (Photo credit: Paxson Woelber)

In the last posting I went over the essential elements of a good goal. Today I will go over how you go about setting goals and the different time periods affecting goals. This is the system I developed that works for me but you must find your own system but this gives you the essential elements. What is important is to establish a system that will work for you and one that will motivate you to continue with goals and make them a part of your everyday life.

Every little goal is a stepping stone to your big goals so I start off with the big goals, sometimes called you life goals or I have also heard them called your a life value statements. Sometimes these big goals will be a long range goals but most of the time long range goals are the final stepping stone to your life goals. These goals are often times the hardest to follow the rules of goals because they are so far out but are important because they create the big goal that the little goals lead up to.

I would not suggest trying to write down these goals in one setting, instead take some time, maybe an extended period of time to really figure out where you want to be in 20 years, 30 years or even longer. We have become such an instant gratification society it is often hard to think that far into the future so don't worry if you have a hard time coming up with them right away.

It should also be noted that these life goals will also be the most flexible and changeable of your goals. While you would like to think that once you set your goals they are going to be in stone and that is what is going to happen, but in reality there is many things that can change your long range goals. That is not to say that there is something wrong with your life goals, on the contrary they are an important element of helping you achieve but we change as people so our goals may change as well. There are many things that change our perspectives on life including finding true love, death of someone we care care about, or realizing that the goal is truly not what we are looking for. Just don't let these life changes stop you from setting goals.

Each goal under your life goals are stepping stones toward that life goal and that is why you want to start off with the life goals because the rest of them are going to work up to that life goal. The next set of goals is your long range goals. As mentioned above sometimes it can blur between your long range goals and life goals but long range goals should be goals that are longer than five years out that work toward your life goals. For example say your goal is to have substantial savings for retirement, a long range goal would be to have your mortgage paid off in say seven years which is a step toward that life goal.

Next up is your medium range goals which are from one to five years out. As you can probably figure out by now these medium range goals should be stepping stones to your long range goals. To continue the idea from the long range goals, a medium range goal could be to have all debts but your mortgage paid off in 24 months.

As you probably already figured out the next step is your goals of one year. I set these during the month of December for the next year although sometimes things can get added during the year. I then set monthly, weekly and daily goals. Your weekly and daily goals will most likely have items on there that do not directly relate to your life goals but are things you need to get done but in the long run will benefit you achieving your life goals. I will often end up with about 30 to 35 items on the weekly goal sheet although only a handful actually fit neatly into my life goals although any goal can indirectly be tied in.

On your daily goals you may want to try scheduling things by time in order to get everything done however that has not always worked well for me. I do better by just having my list of goals for the day and checking them off as I get them complete. What I will do is prioritize my goals for the day by listing them by A's for the biggest priority, B's for medium priority, and C's for the lowest priority. Being a C doesn't mean something isn't important but is not a priority. I then break down each letter by priority and assign them a number from one on. While these may seem like it would take a lot of time to do, time that you could be using to achieve those goals, I have found it takes only a few minutes and it allows me to prioritize my day better.

Now you have the basics of setting goals. As I mentioned before this is designed to be guide to get you started but you need to tailor the system to work best for your personality so that you will stay committed to make things happen.

Good luck and set some goals.

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The Elements of a Goal...Part 1

The Mid American Stock Car Series flagman waving the checkered flag at the end of a series stockcar heat race. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

goal (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

My last couple of blog postings talked about goals and the ones that I am trying to achieve this year so I decided that it would be good to go over what a goal is for those of you that are having trouble getting started or working toward those important things in your life. Today I will go over what a goal needs to contain and next time I will discuss the different types of goals and how to set them.

As I mentioned a goal must have some critical ingredients and I will discuss each one of these one at a time: specific, have a time limit, be written down, achievable and challenging.

Hitting the Books...

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book. ~AuthorUnknown (Photo credit: Nick Kenrick .)

Last time I talked about goals and mentioned that about a goal that I originally didn't start off with but was influenced by an acquaintance. That person is Rich Hopkins who is an outstanding public speaker and motivator who set a goal of reading one book per week for the whole year and gave a list of some of the books he was thinking of reading.

At first I didn't think that I could even come close to reading a book a week but I decided to put my one hour back and forth to school on TriMet Route 44 to good use. While we still have a couple of days till the half way point of the year, I have actually read 28 books so far this year and am currently working on one although I don't know if I will have it done by Monday.

The Year is Half Over...How are You Doing?

nanowrimo, day 16 goal (Photo credit: paloetic)

Hard as it is to think about, Monday will mark the half way point in 2014. While many people let it pass by without even thinking about it, I consider it a good time to look at what has been accomplished so far and what goals are you lagging behind in.

At the beginning of the year like every year I wrote down a set of goals. These are not New Years resolutions they are goals because the have the necessary qualities of a goal: specific, have a time limit, written down, achievable, and challenging.

I started the year with 18 major goals which all work toward my life goals. Then every month I set goals that work toward the yearly goals, weekly goals that work toward the monthly goals, and finally daily goals that work toward accomplishing those weekly goals. I will often end up with about 30 to 35 goals every week and will accomplish anywhere from at least 20 to often more than 30 of them.